Naked in the Kitchen

It’s been a couple crazy days.  Yesterday, the CERT Team (which is our internal “SWAT” team) descended on the kitchen and acted the fool.  The day before, an inmate worker from another shift had ‘MEOWED’ at the Deputy Warden, who is female.  One of these Alpha Male Overachievers, certainly looking to make some brownie points with the administration, took it upon himself to avenge her by subjecting the minimum security inmates to a full body strip search.  Unfortunately for him, although I did have the last laugh when he got in trouble for it, he chose the wrong shift, and stripped them to the skin with a female staff member (me) present (I ran for the office when clothes started coming off), in a food service area (no no no …. can’t do that, dumba$$).  Anyway, today was the annual chili cookoff, and I contributed a 5 qt crock pot of chili.  The blue code went into effect and not one officer took a scoop of my chili.  This was blatant (but mistaken) retaliation for the Lieutenants getting written up for their impromptu strip search yesterday.  I was NOT the one who reported them to the Deputy Warden, who incidentally didn’t know anything about this little plot to ‘avenge her honor’.  Over a stupid man saying ‘meow’ after she’d left the area.  Welcome to my world.  Fortunately, my guys realized I had tried to step in and stop the search by telling the Alpha Jerk in charge that I was present when said “MEOW” incident occurred and I assured him it was NOT anyone on my crew.  He wouldn’t listen, actually interrupted me and directed me to talk to one of his little minions who was standing by looking like he REALLY didn’t want any part of this little game.  After he’d already stripped and humiliated the entire crew, he came in the office and said to me, “You know, SWEET PEA, I really don’t give a CRAP which shift it was.  I am MAKING A POINT with these a$$holes and they will carry the message to the others.”  About that time, the phone rang and their Captain ordered them OUT of the office and OUT of the kitchen immediately.  Hmmmmm…. how about a little ‘shock and awe’ yourself, dumba$$!!  By the way, do NOT call me ‘SWEET PEA’.  EVER!


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